Open Post: Hosted By A Lazy Ass Dormouse

This is where I'm supposed to make a Richard Gere joke, but instead I'm going to use my keystrokes to plead with a bitch to please get that loud lazy dormouse a Breathe Right strip, some allergy medicine, a lozenge for his nose and a body pillow. Because how can any of us get any work done when his ass sounds like Richard Gere and a dormouse wrestling on top of a plastic-wrapped mattress?!